Marelli (trebleclef) wrote,


I feel so fuckin sick. I just got home from school, today being the first day back to school after a horrible spring break. Its fuckin disgusting out and my head is killing me. I am going to take something for this becuase i can barely think.

Theres nothing new and exciting going on ne more. I feel like such a waste of a human exsistence. The more days that pass the more i lose hope. It seems that nothing happy and good is going to happen for a while. Yea theres Europe and im sure we wil have fun but i hate talking everything up like i always do and make things seem better than they actually wind up being. I dont want to do that with europe at all. Also theres graduation, i cantwait to get outta that building and never have to step fooot in it again if i dont want to. That seems really far away thou. Too far to think about...

Here comes the hypocrite marelli as well, i am thinking about not going to prom. Im sure ill wind up going but im pretty sure its not going to be the greatest of times. I mean is there really a point of buying a new dress and spending 125 dollars on a ticket and gettn drunk and walking around seeing all these people who dont like me. Yes thats my new kick. NO one likes me. haha. I mean i guess there are a couple people who like me, but there really arent all that many. I cant want to start over which is why i am really looking foward to college. A fresh new start. BUt yeah back to prom, i am really not all that sure i want to go ne more.

I feel like i havent gone out in a really long time which is making me even less excited about going out. I feel like theres no point to anything ne more. I dont want to spend all my time alone and thats how i have been feeling very very very alone. NO one seems to care. I tryed talking to my mom about how i feel really alone and she basically yelled at me. Thanks mama.Everyone is coupled up even if it is guy on guy or two girls and i am the loser who is out of the clan. I am really just so frustrated with it all that i have no desire to try ne more. I have never truly wanted to stop trying but i never get anything back in return and i have tryed to tell my friends this and everything seems to be exactly the same. Maybe i am calling for too much attention which is totally possible. I dont know. All i do know is that i feel extremely sad.

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